The Blessing of kids!

I had THE most awesome time with my son the other night. I walked away, nearly in tears, grateful for the billionth time for my precious boy.

I was putting him to bed the other night, which has not been something I look forward to most nights, because usually by then I'm contracting at least some, my back hurts, and I'm tired. But, I do enjoy the chats we have here and there, because he often uses this time at night to talk to me about his day, which is precious beyond words. Well, this was one of those nights, and I'm so thankful that I didn't hurry through it, kiss him goodnight and leave.

I was sitting next to his bed, kind of bouncing up and down on one of those giant balls you always see at Walmart. I had my shirt pulled up off of my tummy, just cause sometimes it's more comfortable that way. He was kind of eyeing my tummy, so I said "You know, baby Caleb is going to come out soon." He smiled and seemed pleased at that idea. Then I asked him if he wanted to talk to Caleb. He looked surprised and glanced at my belly and then up at me and said something like "Will he talk back?" I laughed and said "No, even if he was out here he wouldn't be able to talk yet, but he can hear you, even from in there." He got a big grin and leaned close to my tummy and said "Hi Caleb, it's me Quenton." *heart melt* Then I said, can you tell him to turn so his head is down? He did, and I asked if he'd tell him to come out soon. He did that too. It was soo cute too, because he motioned downward with his hands and said, you need to come out this way. I'm not entirely sure how he even knew that, but he said it exactly right. Anyway, then we went on to prayer time. He said his list of things he wanted to pray for and then began to pray. He started out on his bed, but quickly jumped up and laid his head right on my belly and prayed "Jesus, please help baby Caleb to turn his head down and to come out very soon, and please keep him safe (what wisdom in a little boy). Also, please protect Daddy and help him with his work...."

It was one of the most precious moments I have ever had the pleasure of living through. The caring and sweetness in his voice towards his unborn brother was priceless.

What an honor it is to raise these precious jewels! God, grant me the patience to endure the days that don't end quite so nicely, and the wisdom to remember the days that do!

Thinking....

I'm feeling a bit contemplative this evening. I almost want to say heavy hearted, but it's not that exactly. Reflective maybe? Anyway, part of me is feeling down on myself for being short with my little sweet ones this evening before bedtime. Some days I just don't take the persistant, on-going, seemingly endless (getting the drift?) line of questions from my precious 3 y/o. And then of course, there are just days where you feel like they're trying every trick in the book to get away with something. Quenton is exTREMely obediant generally. But, once in a while, he gets it in his head to try a series of things through out a day, in an effort I guess, to assure himself that Mama is still serious about the obediance thing. Let it be known... Mama is serious! But... 10 days before my due date is not my favorite time to play this "game". Actually the last several nights in a row I haven't been the most pleasant person in the world to be around, I'm ashamed to say. Suffice it to say, I do pray this little man would find his way (and stay) in the head down position, and that he would make his appearance very very soon. I do tire of being cranky. The Lord does sustain me though. I am so blessed. I'm so thankful for this healthy little boy, and ever so grateful for my delightful and inquisitive children. The verses "Let not your heart be troubled" and "Do not grow weary in doing good" come to mind just now. Thank you Jesus for bringing me through each and every day. Let tomorrow end with a smile of pure joy!

For the record

It does seem at long last that I have my answer to my most puzzling question throughout this pregnancy.... "Am I due in May or June?"

Me thinks this is a June baby. I started contracting a couple of weeks ago, and thought to myself, "Oh oh oh, I was right, I was a month off. Yeah, May baby." As I continued to contract EVERY night that week I was definitely reminded of the end part of my pregnancy with Arianna. As much fun as it is to contract and then stop every night... leaving you in this horrible quandry and sending you multiple times to your poor midwife to be checked yet AGAIN. Well, this time I refused to do that. I called her the first night, as a sort of "heads-up", but then left it at that. It was so hard to know what to do, because I have a dear friend who has been at each of my births thus far in a doula capacity, and would like to be present for this one as well, BUT she lives in North Idaho. I start contracting and think, "well, should I call her and tell her to book a flight? Or, is this going to continue on for some time etc?" I did call her, but I told her to hold off. Good thing eh?

All that to say, I think I finally figured it out. See, I started taking this Gentle Birth labor prep stuff about a week before those contractions started. I dismissed it as having anything to do with my contractions because they started a week later. I believe I was a bit hasty in my dismissal. After reading some posts on the welltellme forum about Gentle Birth, I came to different conclusions. So, I continue to contract here and there, seemingly randomely. It's not my favorite thing in the world. Not that they hugely hurt, but it does make me wonder how easily I'll recognize it when I'm in labor for real. I really don't like NOT knowing. And I do hope that enduring weeks and weeks of this WILL make my labor/delivery easier. I think I would be most put out if I went through all of this, only to have another 10-12 hour labor.

Either way though, this little baby will be making his appearance rather soon, and I certainly look forward to it. Oh, how I can't wait to cuddle my little Caleb and cover his little face with kisses and and and. What a blessing from God our little ones are!!

As the baby turns

*Note to self, ALWAYS save new post somewhere else before hitting the ever fallible "Post" button*

Alright, so what is it with me and having these babies that can turn at will (and largely without my noticing) from head up to head down at the end of my pregnancies? Arianna did it, and now little Caleb is doing it. I can feel his movements a bit more than I could with her, which leads me to believe he's a bit bigger.... and also scares me, since I have just under 3 weeks remaining *ack*.

Perhaps it's just God giving me breaks from the pubic bone pressure. That seems to be my most obvious indicator of the baby's position right now. When he's head down I can FEEL it! Oh... and I waddle. *sigh*

Kids growing up

My kids are so cute! I love them so much, and it's such a joy to watch them and see how they are growing. I got a sweet picture of how they might be as they get older the other day.

Quen was taking the trash out for me (what a wonderful helper he is already!!!) and his sister was standing at the door watching. She kept trying to open the door for him when he was coming back in (it's a glass door). If the door latched as he went out, then she couldn't do it, but if it wasn't she was able to push it open for him. So, one of the times it wasn't latched and she pushed it open as best she could to let him in and he paused, garbage can in hand and said "Thanks Ar!" It was sooo precious to me. We, him included, pretty much always call her Arianna, Ari, or Baby. For some reason it struck me as so precious that he called her Ar right then. Like, perhaps, it would be his special name for his younger sister as they grow older.

Oh how precious these little memories are!

Maybe a May baby?

So, I've been contracting for the last two nights in a row... The biggest part of me would LIKE to think that little Caleb is going to be a May baby instead of a June baby, as I had wondered before. I have so many conflicting emotions. Not the smallest of which is "What's going on?" I guess I don't really like "not being in the know".

BUT, through all of this, I think I'm beginning to understand that God is telling me to rest in His timing and not worry about tomorrow, so to speak. Caleb will come out of there, one way or the other. Yes, it's frustrating. Especially since I went through this exact same thing with Arianna. Yet, she is here, and she's over a year and a half! I really was hoping to have a more straigh forward time of it this time, yet I feel like there must be Some reason for this. So, I will wait, and do so with as much patience as I can muster, while my Lord and Saviour molds me into His image.

I sure can't wait to hold this little man though! Although, I must say, it's not quite real to me yet ;)

My cute kids

This preggo Mama took some time to sit down on the couch and do NOTHING tonight after going for a long walk with my precious ones, that also included pulling them behind me in a wagon. By the time I got to where I was going, I was seriously wondering if I was going to send myself into labor. It would seem all is well on the home front though.

Ok, so back to the couch. Quen and Ari were playing around nearby while I took my little rest. We have this little, uh, Winnie the Pooh "car" type thing that they can ride on, that both love to play with. Quen, of course, got to it first, and was rolling around on it a bit... at least as well as you can on something like that on a carpeted floor. Well, eventually Ari went up behind it and grabbed on to the handle part that doubles as kind of a back rest (I think it's for little kids that are learning to walk to hang on to and push). Quen was choppily motoring along and she was hanging on to the back, walking fast to try and keep up. It was HILARIOUS to watch. Again, this thing doesn't roll well on carpet. So, the motion of it made it look like she would hit her head on the handle any second... picture: start stop start stop start stop as he moves his legs front to back. I was kind of half expecting her to go down like a 9 pin, but she never did. She managed to hang on and keep up. Then, after a little bit of that, much to my amusement, Quen asked Ari if she would push him!! LOL!!! Ok, Ari is a little squirt. She probably weighs all of 22 lbs or something like that. She's just a petite little girl. My son, on the other hand, is quite large. Not chubby, he's just a big kid, tall and feels like he's made of bricks and concrete or something. He weighs somewhere between 35-40lbs. But, her being the persistant little bugger she is, set about to pushing him! And she did it! I couldn't believe it. It was so perfectly adorable to watch her, as tiny as she is, push her big brother on that car. It took a huge amount of effort, but she kept at it. I have got to get pictures of it. It was too cute for words.

When am I really due?

This pregnancy has been an interesting one, that's for sure. There's something so comforting about knowing what your due date truly is, and feeling as though you can count on that. I guess it's something I took for granted with my first two. So, why am I uncertain with this one you ask? Well, it all began back in, oh, August/September when we were moving down here. I had an hunch I might be pregnant near mid August. I hadn't "missed" anything yet, but we're uh, ahem, fertile people. So, I had that in the back of my mind as we made the LONG trip down here. We were blessed to have much help in packing things INTO the moving truck, but alas, no one was here to help us UNload it. So, Geoffrey and I, thinking (my fault) that we needed to return the truck pronto, unloaded the entire truck worth of stuff in less than two days!! And, I of course had to help carry all the heavy stuff. Dearest Quenton means well, but his couch lifting skills have not reaches their full potential yet. So, the first day we were here unloading I had a visit from "auntie"... But, it wasn't a normal visit. She didn't stay long. I believe I did take one pregnancy test which gave me a negative, but I took it while "auntie" was here, because I was rather confused. Anyway... fast forward to the next month and low and behold, I'm pregnant.

As the months progressed, it sure seemed like my belly was getting big fast. I really started to wonder about it. But, I also didn't want to get my hopes up. I mentioned it once off handedly to my midwife and she said things felt right to be due in June and not earlier. So, I settled myself down and was ready to wait till June for this sweet little man.

Then came my last visit with my midwife. I believe she had forgotten about our previous conversation regarding my suspicions of a possible earlier due date. She was feeling for the size of the baby, and when I asked about it, (me with 6 weeks till my June due date mind you), she said, "He feels like he's about 7lbs" (!!!!!) ACK!!!! Here I was expecting her to say 4lbs or something like that. I think I nearly passed out, lol! If I still had 6 weeks of the biggest growing time left on this guy, he'd be 10-11lbs in June. Quen was 8lbs and Ari was 7.3, bless her heart. I'd really rather stick to that region, thank you very much.

So, I did again mention the due date thing to her, and she nodded and said she was glad I'd mentioned it and that she wouldn't worry about it if I went early.

Goodness me. Now I'm all confused again. I truly had reconciled myself to being due in June, but if she's accurate with him being 7lbs NOW.... I sure hope he's due mid-May!!

This is me at 33 weeks, looking rather preggo, I must say!!